Not too long ago, nearly every bride-to-be were spending countless hours creating the perfect Pinterest board for every detail of your perfect day, from the wedding reception, to party favors, photobooths and every other latest and greatest wedding trend. Little did we know that the #EnterSurnameHere trend would soon become a #FlattenTheCurve trend. You found the picturesque venue, you said yes to the perfect dress, you created precious memories with your bridesmaids throughout all the planning, your flower arrangements and table settings were mindfully, and you were only a countdown away of marrying your best friend – the fairytale you dreamed of was becoming a reality.
Unfortunately, an uninvited guest arrived: the Covid-19 virus. The one we couldn’t conveniently sqeeze in at Table 19. Our government had to put strict rules and regulations in place in order to protect our country against the spread of the Corona virus. Many businesses took a heavy blow from the level 5 and minorly lifted level 4 lockdown, with only essential services being able to operate. As for the event industry, we were brought to our knees. With social distancing and restrictions on social gatherings, numerous brides-to-be were forced to postpone their perfect day.
Altough this virus left most of us in unwanted and uncertain conditions, like all virusses, this one will die when conditions change in our favour. Save-the-date cards may have turned into change-the-date cards, but all is not lost.
We have listed a few tips for all the should-have-been brides and couples who are feeling overwhelmed and negative during this time, to keep good faith and to remember the fairytale dream:
The Emotional Rollercoaster:
- Every emotion that you are feeling, is valid.
Not only do you have to cope with the stress of changing the date of your wedding, getting in contact with your guests and vendors, possibly finding a new venue, counting financial losses and embarking on an entire new journey to plan your walk down the isle, but like the rest of the us, no one was ever taught how to react to a world wide pandemic. There is no right or wrong way to handle and cope with the situation that the world is currently facing, but we can always choose the way we react to it. A good reminder is that a negative view on your problems will not bring positive solutions, alternatives or new opportunities to the table.
- Remembering the ‘Why?’ behind the wedding.
It’s important to remember the purpose of having a wedding. Altough weddings are always a great celebration, the purpose of a wedding is for couples to be unified as one in marriage before the witnesses whom they love and adore. Covid-19 will not change this fact. It doesn’t restrict love, happiness, kindness, patience and compassion. Your partner still loves and adores you, and a postponed celebration with healthy friends and family is immeasurably more precious than a rushed ceremony with the health of your loved ones at risk.
- If you are not a little disappointed, you should probably reconsider a few things.
Just because the world has a ton of problems and disappointments which may seem far worse than postponing a wedding, doesn’t make your disappointment less valid. If you are not a little sad for having to postpone one of the biggest and most magical days that you have been dreaming of your entire life, you may want to reconsider a few aspects regarding your big day! This may be a blessing in disguise to rule out all of the uncertainty you may feel in your heart regarding your relationship and the unity of marriage.
The Practical Approach:
- First things first.
Get in touch with your venue and any other vendors to find possible ways of getting a refund on your deposit or to negotiate credit to use for your future date.
- Second chances for the win!
This is the part where you can really spend quality time with your partner to review your perfect wedding and ensure that everything you have organised, alligns with the picture perfect day for both of you. This includes everything from possibly creating a new budget, to choosing flowers, the venue, food servings and even the music playlist – with no interference from anyone. Just you and your future spouse, it is in fact YOUR special day that you will remember forever.
- Cut down on your guest list.
Yes, I am referring to that family-friend’s daughter that you went to nursery school with, or the family members whom you have little to no contact with. This should also include anyone who hasn’t been in contact with you over the past six months. You are celebrating a wedding and a promise of unity and love with people who are actively involved in your life, you are not having a meet-and-greet or a catch-up session with fimiliar faces. That kind of small talk is for parking lots and Woolies qeues.
In The Meantime:
- Talk, share and create a new dream wedding with your partner.
Ever so often, weddings are planned in a rush with everyone having something to add – and although it is a huge blessing to have a mother, or soon to be mother-in-law and bridesmaids who are as excited for your big day as you are, it can get a bit overwhelming. Share ideas and concepts of what both of you have always wanted on your big day, it is often the smallest details that make the biggest difference. Consider each other’s dreams and wishes, the one’s you didn’t have time to talk about because of the every day rush.
- Enjoy each other!
This is the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, and well, there’s no greater challenge and bliss than to spend every single day with your favourite human being in lockdown. Nothing to unwind and reconnect like a good couple’s challenge, old school movie nights, classic board games or online courses that both can benefit from like cooking 101 or understanding the 5 languages of love. You may come to learn a few interesting traits of your partner that you didn’t know before. Take note: the ‘it’s not always a walk in the park’ part may also surface, but you have enough time to work through all of your emotions together!
- Think outside the box.
Many couples have had their weddings online via apps such as Zoom, with only a pastor to ensure social distancing and family members watching online. If you feel like you can’t wait to get hitched, why not? You can always celebrate with friends and family the old traditional way when it is safe to do so, but the option still remains to celebrate your special day in the comfort of your own living room! Other couples printed photos of all the people on their guest list, got married in the comfort of their own home with their furry friends as witnesses and everyone still present even in their absence. The limit on creativity doesn’t exist, and well…Google is your friend!
The #StrongerTogether was not just applicable when the Springboks walked away in victory with the rugby world cup. We will aslo walk in victory #StrongerTogether after the fight against Covid-19. And soon, when you walk down that isle towards the love of your life, you will know that you successfully overcame one of the very first speedbumps that comes with marriage. That, in itself, should be of great assurance that the foundation of your relationship is set and built on solid rock.
Know this: You will walk down that isle in the perfect dress. You will experience the raw emotion on your spouse’s face when they see you for the very first time in all your elegant essence. You will toss your bouquet and you will dance your night away in celebration with your loved ones, but first, you will learn how to be #StrongerTogether.
I want to share a few scriptures from Isaiah and a song that has been my comfort in various seasons of waiting in my life. Looking back, I can testify that the Lord is faithful to His promises – Every. Single. Time. His timing is perfect because He really does work all things for the good of those who love and believe in Him!
Isaiah 26:3 (AMP)
“You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You – in both inclination and character], because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].”
Isaiah 41:10 (AMP)
“Do not fear [anything], for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you. I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].
Isaiah 60:22 (NLT)
“The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”
One of my favourite songs to listen to when life throws a curveball and things don’t go as planned:
Lauren Daigle – Look Up Child
I hope with all my heart that this scripture and song can be of comfort to you in your unplanned season of waiting. Trust the timing of your life, your Author knows what He is doing.
PS: There’s a LOT more where that came from! Feel free to get in touch with me on Instagram or Facebook – @buurasandco. I would love to hear your story, share in some fellowship with you, or simply just praying for you during this unknown season in your life!
Keep safe, keep on praying and planning. And most of all, keep your fairytale dream alive!
All my love, always!